Getting It All Done (HBR Working Parents Series) by Harvard Business Review

Author:Harvard Business Review
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Harvard Business Review Press
Published: 2020-12-08T00:00:00+00:00

13

You Can Make Family Meals Happen

by Daisy Dowling

Quick Takes

Recast your expectations of what a “family meal” is to take pressure off yourself

Use tricks and planning to shave off shopping and prep time

Involve your kids

Try family breakfast if dinner doesn’t work for your family

Keep meals fun, friendly, and brief

As a working parent, it’s one of the questions you dread most. And it comes every day, right around 3 p.m.: “So, umm . . . what are we doing about dinner?”

Whether the question comes in a text from your partner, teens at home, or it pops into your head during the marketing meeting, you reflexively cringe, because dinnertime is one of the danger zones of working parenthood, when the strains of your dual role feel the most acute.

Why? Because what presents as a straightforward, practical problem—meal prep—is actually a psychological, emotional, and even physical one, too, and it hits working parents when we’re the most vulnerable. Exhausted at the end of a long workday and overwhelmed by everything else we have to do, it’s easy to turn to restaurant meals and convenience-food options—which, let’s face it, won’t do your health any favors.

It may feel impossible to get everyone eating at the same time and around the same table. And when you haven’t seen your toddler for nine hours, you probably don’t have the heart to fight with her over the need to eat broccoli. You wish the whole family could close out your days with regular, proper, happy, nutritious, sit-down meals, but instead your nightly experience leaves you feeling conflicted, stressed, and guilty. And you’re not alone: Many if not most working parents are caught in the same struggle.

Fortunately, there’s a better way forward. By taking a broad-spectrum approach to the problem and by using simple, specific tactics—13 of the most powerful are below—you can go a long way in taming the logistics, reducing your sense of strain, and making more family meals happen.

Seeing—and Taking Charge of—the Big Picture

Make it a priority. It’s essential to finish the budget report, get the car repaired, prepare for the big client meeting, make your daughter’s school-play costume . . . and on and on and on. Your calendar is crammed, your to do-list a mile long, and a lot of what’s on there is marked “urgent.” If you’re going to make family dinner happen, you need to give it equal priority. This may involve a mindset shift and seeing family meals as a critical part of your routine (in case you need any additional convincing on that front, check out the scientific studies demonstrating that kids who eat with their parents are much less likely to later suffer from substance abuse1). A simple, practical step can also help: On your Outlook or Google calendar, block off not just the evening hours you want to eat with the family, but the time for grocery shopping and food prep. When they’re recorded as “official” entries, you’re much more likely to actually get them done.

Keep it real—and take the pressure off.

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